New Life
by cortez30
Summary: a new kid has moved to south park and discovers the joy of growing up with a bunch of students in the 3rd grade this will take place 3 weeks before cartman gets an anal probing so basically there will be some non continuity and there will be pairings mostly straight but its designed to be a comedy not romance I am writing this cause it came to me WARNING O.C ALERT I am in the world
1. Chapter 1

Summery

a new kid has moved to south park and discovers the joy of growing up with a bunch of students in the 3rd grade this will take place 3 weeks before cartman gets an anal probing so basically there will be some non-continuity and there will be pairings mostly straight but its designed to be a comedy not romance I am writing this cause it came to me WARNING O.C ALERT I am in the world of south park :P

Chapter 1 welcome to South Park

Rated T for language

Disclaimer I don't own South Park

A/N

Before I write this is unoriginal in the highest order this is probably the most overdone story idea so far thanks to the new stick of truth game well this is basically a whole new world in south park parallel in many ways but it changes a little so yeah this is my story if you like it then awesome if you don't you don't have to read it just respect me opinion and walk away so let's just get started and I hope you enjoy

Chapter 1 welcome to South Park

"hello my names matt and I just moved to this lovely shitty mountain town in Colorado the reason oh my asshole of a father walked out on us when I was 5 and the bills piled up to the point of us moving but lucky for us the houses here are kind of cheap and it's not like my mother's poor oh no she graduated from Harvard and is an excellent doctor she can basically run the hospital in this town and my baby sister 6 months old barely says mama her name is Polly I love her and I would protect her from anyone even ninjas cause I have secret powers also I am 7 so yeah I mean last time I check I can have a fucking imagination also I swear a lot but that's beside the point the house is pretty big and it has stairs man I can wait to slide down them a lot maybe we can have pizza tonight or my favorite spaghetti man that sounds awesome"

Its Monday morning here in south park and I hope you're having an awesome day said the radio

MOM THE RADIOS TALKING I yelled

Oh honey just hit the off switch and he will shut up said mom

"moms are smart even though I know a lot already I can wait to go to school but I have to be alert day 1 is always tough on the new kid. I ran downstairs to the smell of waffles I ate them and ran out the door to the bus stop where no one was there"

Great I am alone I said

No you're not said a voice

Yeah were here said another

"2 kids showed up one with an orange jacket and a green hat and another with a…..i don't know if its purple or blue "I am color blind " with a red fluff on his hat ha I like the word fluff"

Hi my names Kyle and this is Stan said Kyle

Hi my names matt I said

Hi matt said Stan

"Wow day 1 and people are already friendly"

Not many go to this bus stop huh I asked

Oh no 2 more are coming said Kyle

KENNY JUST CAUSE YOU TALKED TO RATS DOESN'T MEAN YOU UNDERSTAND THEM yelled a voice

"Mumble"

"Then showed up a kid in an orange parka and a really fat kid who looked like he ate the original 2 kids that show up here"

Matt this is cartman and Kenny said Stan

Hey I said

Fuck you matt you are lame I bet you are afraid of nomes said cartman

Huh I said

"All of the sudden I started hyperventilating"

Oh no not now I said

Dude what's wrong asked Kyle

Panic attack and it's a big one I said

"I started shaking and freaking out I screamed for a paper bag and Kyle gave me one"

Ha ha hey look another tweak ha you so lame and stupid and…..

"I blacked out and next thing I knew cartman was on the ground crying"

Waahahahah I am going to tell my mom on you yelled cartman

"He ran home in tears"

Oh great now I am dead I said

Nice one dude said Stan

Huh I just made him cry now his mom will tell my mom and then I am dead oh shit I can't take it Ahhh I yelled

"Great round 2 of panic attacks lucky for me Kenny calmed me down….then a car hit him"

OH MY GOD THEY KILLED KENNY yelled Stan pointing in the air

YOU BASTURD yelled Kyle

"I woke up and saw Kyle and Stan staring at me"

I am so sorry I said

Dude what was with that asked Kyle

I suffer from anxiety attacks AKA panic attacks then I black out and sometime go violent I have therapy every Tuesday and Thursday and sometimes Saturday but that day rock cause I get ice-cream I said

Dude that sounds awesome said Stan

No its not I hate it that's why my dad left I said

Dude you have no dad neither does cartman said Kyle

Ah shit your probably spoiled rotten 2 said Stan

Ha I wish my mom spoiled me I said

"The bus came and some mean lady yelled at us to sit down and shut up. The first thing I saw was a red headed girl she was pretty wait huh pretty I don't think girls are pretty….do I hmm"

Hi imp red who you are asked red

My lady I am sir matt I said in my head cause all I got out of my mouth was blsiudhfjish

Huh asked red

"Stan hit my back"

MATT I yelled

"Giggle" you funny matt said red

I am I said

You want to sit with me asked red

Uh…..

NO SHE HAS COODIES yelled Kyle

"Shit I heard of them they must of spread to South Park luckily they only last a week…or is that chicken pox hmmm I guess there the same thing"

Nahh you boys have the coodies said red

"Red and Kyle stuck there tongues out at each other and I sat in the back next to the window"

Thanks guys I said

No problem you cool right Stan…..Stan hello earth to Stan said Kyle

"I looked up and saw a black haired girl with a purple jacket and hat she was kind of pretty not as pretty as red the prettiest girl in the world well besides mom of course and she waved to me and Stan"

Who's that I asked?

Huh said Stan

That's Stans girl friend said Kyle

NO SHES NOT I DON'T LIKE GIRLS said Stan

Ha gay I said

Shut up matt said Stan

Dude I was kidding damn be chill I said

Be what said Kyle

What you don't have be chill up here I said

No what does that mean asked Stan?

Oh boy I said

"After explaining the history of being chilled out yo we reached the school I got to my new locker and was introduced to the class"

Ok students we have a new retard what's you dumb ass name said Mr. Garrison

Ass? I asked

Well you don't look like an ass to me said Mr. Garrison

Funny you look like one I said

"The class all laughed"

Ah a funny guy huh said Mr. Garrison

No I am sorry my name is matt and I came from Maryland I said

Ok well sit next to Stan over there and I will return after reflecting on my shitty life and probably won't show up again for at least 2 hours said Mr. Garrison

That was weird I said

Nah its Monday he always does this on Mondays said Stan

Ah ok I said

"Then it happened again I freaked out and knocked over my desk this time I could see what happened"

AHHHHH I screamed

Calm down dude said Stan

What's wrong with him asked Clyde

He's having a picnic attack said Kyle

What like potato salad and ham asked Craig

No panic like Tweek does every day except matt can't control his attacks said Stan

Ahhh so much pressure said Tweek

AH PRESSURE AHHHH I yelled

Damn said Craig

"Next thing I see is red holding my hand asking me to relax"

Its ok matt said red

"I started to calm down"

Thanks red you look nice I said

Aw thanks said red

"She then kissed me on the cheek and the boys panicked"

AHHH COOTIES RUN EVERYONE RUN yelled Kyle

"All the boys ran out of the room and the girls all laughed"

Boys are weird said Bebe

Yeah said Wendy

Well now I am infected so what now I asked

Nothing said red

Yeah your fine said Wendy

"I looked close in Wendy's face"

You are pretty I said

"Red then started to cry and ran to the corner"

What the hell matt you made red cry said Bebe

Huh I am sorry I mean your ugly I said

"That was a dumb thing to do cause then I got slapped"

Oh what do me do I am sorry red you're prettier then Wendy ok I said

Really said red

Uggh said Wendy

Look ether A I be nice to red or B she cries ok your both pretty I just think red prettier I said

Aww red and matt sitting in a tree kissing said the class of girls

"red and I blushed I liked her kissing me and I would love to do it again but not now and I can't tell the guys that even though Stan likes Wendy I think he says he don't like girls but I think he does"

I have an idea I said

What's that asked Wendy

"I am guessing Wendy is the leader because everyone looks to her"

How about we play a prank on the boys I said

Really said Wendy what do we do

"I whispered the plan to the girls and they all giggled. I then ran out of the classroom freaking out"

AHH I have been infected with a strand of kiss I said

"The boys looked scared"

What's that asked butters

It's when you haven't been in a ritual and a girl kisses you I said

What said Kyle?

Is it deadly asked Stan?

Of I don't do the ritual it will be and you guys need to witness it so then it will never happen to you I said

How do we do it asked Kyle?

Well 2 boys have to kiss in front of the girls I said

EWW KISS A BOY THAT'S WEIRDER THEN KISSING A GIRL yelled Clyde

Well 2 guys are going to have to take one for the team I said

Ok why don't you do it asked Craig?

Because I am infected I said

Well that sucks who is willing to kiss asked Kyle

Uggh I will do it said Craig

Ok who else I asked

Tweek everyone said at once

AHHH pressure said Tweek

"I almost lost it there 2 boys were going to kiss so that they don't get cooties this is ritch"

END OF CHAPTER

Well I hope you enjoyed this first chapter it's going to be fun being in south park what will happen to me will I die will I live will I become a monkey AND DO GIRLS REALLY HAVE COOTIES find out soon


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 weird words

Rated T for language

Disclaimer I don't own South Park

"Craig and Tweek looked nervous the girls are giggling and I am about to bust a gut with laughter oh my god this is going to be funny"

Ok Tweek lets do this said Craig

AHHHH yelled Tweek

"Craig gave Tweek a peck on the lips and the girls awed and I laughed but then Mr. Garrison came back"

What the hell is going on here asked Mr. Garrison?

Trying to cure the cooties said Stan

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I yelled

What's so funny asked Kyle

There are no cooties we tricked you guys said red

"The boys blushed and then started laughing they were good sport but Mr. Garrison said a weird word"

What the hell you homosexuals I will call you parents you fags yelled Mr. Garrison

"I raised my hand"

What's a homosexual I asked?

"The class was equally confused as I was"

It's when 2 boys kiss and fuck said Mr. Garrison

What's fuck asked Wendy

Wendy testaburger how dare you say fuck go to the office said Mr. garrison

But you said fuck I said

You to matt said Mr. Garrison

"Next thing you know everyone said fuck and we all ended up in the fuck office hmm fuck that's a funny word fuck fuck fuck hahaha I best not tell my mom oh well I can blame the teacher"

Ok students why did you say that word asked the principal

"We all agreed to play stupid"

What word doggie I asked

No fuck said the principal

OHHHHHH PRINCIPAL SAID A BAD WORD we all yelled

Well Ahhh ok fine no ones in trouble just go back to class said the principal

"the lunch bell rang and we all went to lunch when all of the sudden I saw another black guy wow that's amazing I thought token was the only black kid in school but no we had a black lunch guy"

Hello their children said the black guy

Hey chief Kyle and Stan said

How's it going asked chief?

Weird said Kyle

Really said chief

Yeah the teacher called us homosapians or something like that said Stan

I thought it was homosexuals I said

Oh yeah that said Stan

Mr. Garrison ha has just as gay as ever said chief

"We all understood that homosexual means gay"

Oh ok I said

So who's the new kid asked chief

He's matt he has panic attacks and then kicks major ass said Kyle

Yeah also he pranked us during class with the girls said Stan

Wow well I have more lunch to make so yeah move along children said chief

Wow this is a fun town I said

Nah it sucks ass said Kyle

Hi matt you want to sit with me asked red

No he doesn't said Stan

I didn't ask you Stan I asked matt said red

Sure I will catch you guys later I said

Oh no he does have the cooties now he likes girls said Kyle

Hi Stan said Wendy

"Stans face went red and then he threw up"

EW said Wendy running away

Ha ha said Kyle

"I went and sat with red Bebe and Wendy. Bebe was cleaning off Wendy who was crying and I and red were talking about dogs and unicorns I like dogs cause there cool and red likes unicorns because she's a girl I guess that makes sense"

"Sniff" why does Stan not like me asked Wendy

Oh he likes you I said

Huh said Wendy

Hess just nervous around you I said

Well I guess he is a boy said Wendy

I am too I said

Yeah but your different said Bebe

Not really I said

Well you're my boyfriend so your different said red

"I spat my milk out in shock"

BOYFRIEND I yelled

"I freaked out and ran out of the lunchroom I here Bebe and Wendy giggling and Stan and Kyle looked confused"

Hey mmkay what's the problem asked Mr. Mackey

Well it appears I have a girlfriend now but I don't know what to do I said

It's easy just be nice to her and eventually you 2 will be happy with each other mmkay said Mr. Mackey

Ok I said

"School ended and I got off the bus we didn't have homework cause the teacher was suspended for teaching us the word fuck in class so I hung out with Stan and Kyle"

So why did you freak out in lunch asked Stan

Because I found out I had a girlfriend now I said

Ha sucks for you now you're lame said Kyle

Well whatever I said

Dude you can't just say whatever you have to kick his ass said Stan

Nah cause you would kick my ass I don't feel like fighting right now I guess I have to buy flowers soon or something like that I don't know maybe I can ask my mom later after all she is a girl and she's super smart…..OH SHIT POLLY I have to watch her I said

"The guys followed me to my house and we all made snacks and played videogames"

Buba said Polly

That's right brother I said

Babies are weird said Stan

Yeah my baby brother is way smarter than her said Kyle

So she's barely able to crawl give it sometime she might kick your ass soon isn't that right Polly I said

"She screamed with joy"

IM HOME yelled mom

Hey mom these are my friends Stan and Kyle I said

Hello oh I have a surprise for you said mom

"I went to the car and saw…..A DOG WOW"

Woof woof said the dog

Surprise I was going to wait till your birthday in 6 months but I decided its October so why not said mom

What's his name I asked?

Hmm why don't you name him oh and I got some dunkin donuts if you want some said mom

THAT'S IT Duncan I said

Weird name said Kyle

Yeah kind of weak said Stan

Who asked for your opinion I said

True said Stan

Can't argue with that said Kyle

Woof said Duncan

"Stan and Kyle left and I ate dinner we had chicken yuck I hate chicken but whatever"

Mom I asked

Yes asked mom

Why are girls weird I asked?

Ha what do you like a girl asked mom

Is it obvious I said?

Kind of said mom

Well her name is red and she says I am her boyfriend I said

"Mom laughed"

Well you should sign a contract said mom

What's a contract I asked?

It's a paper to prove that she is yours and no one else's said mom

Yeah but what do I do for a girl I asked

Give her some cookies I am baking some for the hospital said mom

Cool I said

Remember don't eat a lot of them or you won't sleep at all tonight said mom

Yeah I said

"She saw I was depressed"

I heard you beat up a kid today said mom

I didn't mean to I said

I know you didn't but did it have to do with dad asked mom

"I was silent I hated him he left us when we needed him the most"

I know what he did was wrong but we are in a better place then we used to be we are in a small town and we have a nice house my job puts food on the table and we are alive I know what the kid said was mean but you need to control your anger said mom

I know mom I know I said

"I went to bed a few hours later after pretending I was a pirate hmm maybe red likes to pretend I might play with her at recess mom was on the phone with reds parents saying we should have a play date which sounds like a regular date ew I don't want to date yet I am 7 and a half years old"

Tuesday

"I took a shower got dressed at oatmeal and left for school fatass was standing there….with kenny hmm dejavu I remember meeting him but how do I know his name when obviously I never saw him before oh well"

Hi Kenny I said

"Kenny mumbled but lucky for me I had a friend who mumbled a lot so POWERS OF MUMBLE TRANSLATE ACTIVATE"

Hey how do you know my name asked Kenny?

We meet yesterday remember I said

Oh yeah said Kenny

Do you remember my name I asked?

Yeah its matt said Kenny

More like fag said cartman

"I have an idea"

OH SHIT ITS HAPPENING AGAIN AHHH I yelled

"Cartman then bolted to the other side of town he yelled I am walking to school"

"Everyone was on the ground laughing"

Do I smell cookies asked Kenny?

Yes you want one I got at least 56 cookies in my back pack I said

Dude I want some said Stan

1 for me because I am diabetic said Kyle

Sure my mom has sugar free for some of the kids just in case I said

Thanks said Kyle

"The bus came and the usual bitch yelled for us to sit down"

Hey matt said red blushing

I am sorry I panicked so here my mom made this one for you I helped I said

"it was a heart shaped cookie with red food coloring she then kissed me…again this time on the lips I was scared so I walked to the back of the bus"

Dude did she kiss you again asked Stan

Yeah I am freaking out I said

How was it asked Kyle?

AWESOME I said

So why did you panic asked Stan

Because I don't know why she did that I asked

Well you probably made her happy she won't always kiss you but she will be nice to you said Stan

Ha I bet you want to kiss Wendy I said

I DO NOT yelled Stan

"Kyle and kenny laughed"

Hi Stan said Wendy

"Stan threw up and Wendy ran as peruse"

Dude stop puking I said

I can't help it somehow she makes me puke said Stan

You like her that's why I said

I DO NOT yelled Stan

Dude you do said Kyle

SHUT UP BACK THERE yelled the scary bus lady

"She has a name I just caller her that"

You shut up said Kyle

WHAT DID YOU SAY yelled the lady?

Uh do you have a cup asked Stan?

Oh well no I do not I need one though said the lady

Weird I said

Yep said Kyle

"Wow this bus lady is weirder then ever oh well school starts and today were doing a group project and….our partners are being picked for us"

END OF CHAPTER

End summery

So what will happen will cartman eat someone will kenny talk normal will red explain why she is so pretty to me….I MUST KNOW find out soon

A/N

Crazy story o just finished writing when my computer froze…I thought I was going to have to type the whole damn this all over again THANK GOD FOR REVOVERING SYSTEM so yeah this story will be a long one eventually it will hit up cartman gets an anal probing which means I am going to have to watch…..EVERY EPISODE OF SOUTH PARK ALL OVER AGAIN ekkk I am excited….OH and my character and this character has some similarities so yeah


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 girls have a what

Rated T for language

Warning there is mention of the word vagina if you are uncomfortable with the word vagina then too bad

Disclaimer I don't own South Park

Chapter 3 girls have a what

"I am at school learning from probably the dumbest teacher on earth when Kyle throws a note at me"

_Dude ditch red hang with us _

"I wrote a note back and threw it at Kyles face"

_NOPE SORRY I DO WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT_

"We then got our lunch bell and red let me sit with the guys so they could talk"

Dude why do you want to hang with a bunch of girls all the time asked Kyle

Because I like one of them and according to mom eventually I will have to find one and live with her I said

Dude that sucks when you will have to live with them asked Kyle

I don't know maybe during the summer I said

Ha your fucked bro said cartman

Funny how fucked you will be after I kick your ass I said

Dude we can't say that word in school said Stan

Yeah mumbled Kenny

"All of the sudden Kenny started choking on his broccoli and died"

OH MY GOD THEY KILLED KENNY screamed Stan

YOU BASTARD yelled Kyle

"Dejavu"

"Well after the morning we all went to recess and I hung out with the girls we didn't play dolls or anything lame like that we played tag and ran around like morons"

I have to go said red

Where I asked

GO yelled red

Go where I repeated

Do I have to spell it out G.O said red?

"She was dancing around I knew what that was"

OH well go behind that tree I said

I am not squatting down said red

Huh I asked

"She then pissed herself and I took my jacket off and we ran to the nurse's office"

Oh I am sorry said red

Its fine I have plenty of jackets I said

Well lucky for you we have spare clothes said the nurse

Thanks said red

I am going to miss this school said the nurse

"Red then took her pants off and underwear…..she didn't see me but I saw her…..HER WEE WEE WAS MISSING. Red turn around and freaked out "

Dude don't look at my vagina yelled red

"She then closed the curtains and I was confused what is a vagina is it a foreign word or something. All day the girls were looking at me with dirty looks calling me a pervert and a peeping tom what the hell is a perv and my name is not tom. The guys all looked as confused as I was. The day went by and I went home mom was off work and changing Polly and I noticed something…..Polly didn't have a wee wee either"

Mom what's a vagina I asked

"Mom looked weird"

Oh you are too young to know that word where did you hear it asked mom

Red yelled at me she said I looked at her vagina but I don't even know what that is I said

Well its way a girl pees said mom

Oh like mine is a…

Ok we don't need to talk about this till you are at least 13 ok said mom

Ok I said

Ok good said mom

Mom I asked

"Mom sighed"

Yes said mom

What's a pervert I asked?

"mom then told me about the birds and the bees and it got very weird and scary I didn't know that girls made babies like that she told me I was too young because it's impossible for me to make them at my age so I should of dropped it and to not tell anyone about it EVER I agreed and she called red mother and apologized for me saying I didn't know what I was doing and I talked to red saying I was sorry she forgave me and agreed to play again at recess she made a joke promising me that she would A go before we go out and B keep her pants on so I wouldn't get bullied again."

Wends day

Ok class what the hell is this asked Mr. Garrison

"Wendy raised her hand"

A butt said Wendy

"Her voice is so funny"

Yes said Mr. Garrison I want to know who the little basturd is who drew this ON MY GOD DAMN CHALKBOARD

"we all pointed at cartman even though it was me I was dared to do it but we all agreed to blame the fat kid cause we all hate him"  
hey what the hell it was the new kid not me said cartman

Yeah right like I believe that matt would draw that on the wall said Mr. Garrison

It's true I dared him to said cartman

Oh so you admit it was you said Mr. Garrison

SCREW YOU GUYS IMA GOING HOME said cartman

"I sat in class and I got a note…from Kenny oh great"

_How did you like her pussy? _

"Red has a cat weird. I wrote back to him"

_What?_

"Then I got another note"

_HER VAGINA DUMB ASS_

"Oh ok now I am pissed"

_Dude girls pee out of that shit stop_

"Then right before Kenny threw a note back Mr. Garrison spoke"

Ok Kenny would you like to read the note you wrote…WITHOUT THE HOOD yelled Mr. Garrison

Mmmmhhmhmhmh said Kenny

"Kenny got up and read the note which pissed me off"

Ok I said that reds vagina would probably look hot as hell and I bet you would lick it said Kenny

DUDE THAT'S FUCKING SICK I yelled

"I am shocked Mr. Garrison didn't yell at that ha I am good"

You want to do WHAT TO MY WHAT yelled red

Don't look at me Kenny wrote it I said

Did you want to read it asked red?

Nope I MIGHT JUST KICK YOUR ASS KENNY I yelled

"Then the class all railed up saying there's going to be a fight fun. The lunch bell read and I talked to chief….alone with only Kyle and red with me"

Hello their children said chief

Hey chief I said

What's wrong matt asked chief?

Kenny said he wanted to lick reds vagina and now we are going to fight I said

Hey how do you even know what that is asked chief?

Oh because he walked in on me undressing said red

Wow ok you are…

I know too young to look at that my mom gave me the low down and reds parents explained it to her I said

Explained what asked Kyle

It's a secret I said

Yeah said red

Lucky said Kyle

Well matt the best thing to do is fight Kenny win and then just make up later said chief

Ok I said I don't like fighting because I go too far sometimes I said

Yeah well we all go too far sometimes said chief

No I mean I put a kid in the hospital once I don't want to do it again but for some reason I hate that he insulted red I don't know why but I am trying to defend her I said

Its call love said chief

Love I asked

Yes you're in love with red said chief

Ekkk so romantic said red

Great said Kyle

So where Kenny is now asked chief

Stan and Eric are helping him train said Kyle

Yeah has going to need all the help he can get I said

Well then children I hope it is worth it said chief

Oh trust me….i is I said

End of chapter

End summery

Oh shit I am going to kick that orange parka wearing fella's ass how he dare insult my women

A/N

Yeah this was a very weird chapter to write and I got a P.M from someone asking if my father left me NO he didn't I did that for drama I have a sister but her names not Polly I am not good at fighting hell I am a pacifist but my dog was named Duncan when I was 7 and I do suffer from really bad panic attacks but they have started happening 8 months ago not when I was 7 I thought that would make it interesting now so yeah big fight happening soon and I think we need a south park style event to happen cause WE HAVENT HAD ONE so yeah what should happen I know you want a small piece in this story


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 FATHERS

Rated T for language and some violence

Disclaimer blah blah blah you know

Chapter 4 FATHERS

"The playground was surrounded by kids cheering the roars of screaming children deafened me I looked around to see multiple signs saying Kenny and others saying new kid sucks. Man where am I the WWE damn I know that fighting is stupid but I have no choice red will think I am weak I must impress her hell I might get another kiss but I looked and she was not happy. I couldn't do it"

Look Kenny I know I said I wanted to fight you but why just because you said some stupid comment on my girlfriend its pretty lame you have to admit I said

Yeah I agree said Kenny

You just want to play some kick ball I said

Sure man said Kenny

"Everyone was disappointed people yelled PUSSIES and YOUR LAME NEW KID and someone yelled KENNY WHY DID YOU LET HIM GO. Man kids love a good fight but I was raised better than that"

Hey said red

Hey red I am sorry I can't hurt my friend I said

I know so here said red

"She kissed me on the lips…..i love nonviolence in school"

Dough I drabbled

"Giggle" your funny when your shocked said red

"Red ran off with Bebe and Wendy and they all giggled"

Dude was that even worth it your now going to be the laughing stock of the school said Stan

Dude I don't want to hurt my buddy Kenny I said

"I then smacked him on the back and he flew into the street and got hit by a car…..woops"

OH MY GOD YOU KILLED KENNY yelled Stan

YOU BASTURD yelled Kyle

"Wow normally people would get sick knowing that they murdered someone…..but I am ok with that weird what's wrong with me"

So anyway kickball I asked

"The guys cheered although some of the guys said OH DON'T YOU WANNA KEEP KISSING YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Well yeah but I want to play some damn kick ball and whoop there asses"

"School ended quickly and I walked how with red it appears our play date was now damn I don't even have flowers so I ran off and grabbed a donation. I didn't even know they grew here. She kissed me on the cheek eh that's ok I guess but a lip is better but I digress. We played in the back yard playing save the princess…..i don't know how I became the princess but whatever I got another kiss out of it so it was worth it. BUT then her dad gave me a long talk about how I don't need to be doing anything inappropriate to his daughter I guess he doesn't like us kissing but I like it and she likes it so I guess we need to do that without them knowing. Mom picked me up and I went straight to bed cause I ate over reds house plus tomorrow was a half day sense Friday was some teacher appreciation day so we didn't have school HA I bet Mr. garrison made that up so he didn't have to work lazy basturd"

THURSDAY

MATT YOU HAVE A VISITOR yelled mom

"Weird why would someone visit at…oh shit it's a cop did they hear about Kenny…..i didn't mean to hurt him that much during our fight. I went downstairs crap moms crying not good I am in trouble"

Uh sure we have some bad news said officer Barbrady

"Hmm I don't like this guy I here he is a complete retard"

What is it I asked?

We found your father said Barbrady

"FUCK wow that is useful"

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY asked mom

"Crap did she here me"

My ex-husband is here said mom

"Oh thank Jesus"

Well not really we found his dead body in the back of a bar it looked like he died of alcohol poisoning said Barbrady

Wow I said

"Mom was shocked"

The assholes dead said mom

Yes mam said Barbrady

"we talked for a good 30 mins then I went to school IN A VERY BAD MOOD not cause my dad died but cause he left us to drink his life away like the drunk basturd he was I HATE HIM WHY DID WE HAVE TO SUFFER CAUSE OF HIS DRUNK ASS SELF DAMNIT I HATE HIM I HATE HIM"

Hey matt why are you crying asked Kyle

I HATE HIM THAT ASSHOLE I screamed

Ha someone has sand in there vagina

SHUT THE HELL UP FAT ASS I AM NOT IN THE GOD DAMN MOOD FOR YOUR 2 FUCKING CENTS MY DAD WAS JUST FOUND DEAD BEHIND A BAR IF YOU MUST KNOW BUT I BET YOU DON'T GIVE 2 SHITS CAUSE YOU THINK YOU ARE BETTER THEN US WELL GUESS WHAT YOUR SPOILED ASS IS SAFE FROM DISAPOINTMENT CAUSE IT WONT EFFECT YOU TILL YOU GRADUATE AND YOUR MOM IS SICK AND TIRED OF YOU MOCHING OFF HER AND KICKS YOU FAT FUCKING ASS ON THE STREET SO BACK THE FUCK OFF OR ELSE MY FIST WILL GO FAR DOWN YOUR THROAT IT WILL BE CONSIDERED FISTING THAT BIG FAT ASS OF YOURS I yelled

"Everyone's eyes widened cartman shut up Stan backed away and Kyle was silent but Kenny….he said something"

I hate my dad to said Kenny

Huh I said

I hate him to he is a drinker her yelled at my mother and I a lot plus my brother said Kenny

"The bus came and red smiled at me and I sat with her Bebe was kind of steamed but she understood"

So yeah I am sorry about my dad he is a good guy though has just worried for his little princess. I mean prince said red

"She stuck her tongue out and…..i broke down in tears and made a scene" 

Hey I was kidding said red

WHY ME I yelled in tears

Look I told you my dad doesn't hate you in fact he likes you said red

MY DAD WAS FOUND DEAD I yelled

"They bus was silent and Stan ran to me and trying to calm me down but Wendy showed up and kept throwing up every second"

WHY DID HE HAVE TO LEAVE ME AND MY MOM JUST CAUSE POLLY WASN'T A BOY IS THAT IT I LOVE MY LITTLE SISTER BUT DAD DIDN'T HE WANTED ANOTHER SON BUT HE COULDN'T GET ONE SO HE LEFT US AND DRUNK HIMSELF TO DEATH HES A BASTURD AND I HATE HIM WHY AM I STILL CRYING I yelled

"Red hugged me it felt warm and I cried on her shoulders cartman said I was a wuss and Bebe and Wendy both slapped him for it. HA I love it jack ass deserved it but I was still upset"

Its ok matt I am here and your mom loves you I love you to said red

AWWW said Wendy and Bebe

"Sniff sniff" really you do I said

Yeah you're my princess after all said red

Ha I said I guess your right

Huh said Stan still throwing up

"Man I think he might have a stomach bug because he said that to me and not Wendy"

It's an inside joke I said

Yeah we can't just say what it is or else the troll will find us said red

So cute said Wendy

Yeah said Bebe

Well "sniff" I am feeling better I said

"Kenny then came over and mumbled no one understood but I did"

Look matt we all have shitty dads well except cartman has a basturd child but we all need to understand we are not them and we need to try and not become them cause if we do then our children will become us and then the curse will live on said kenny

"I didn't care who saw I hugged Kenny he smelled really REALLY bad so I asked if he wanted to hang tomorrow sense we have no school maybe hit a shower"

I would like that is your mom cooking asked Kenny

Nope I am and I cook better than her I said

Ha what's for dinner ramen noodles asked Kenny

Nope steak and fries I said

…..you grill asked Kenny

HELL YEAH I DO I can make anything taste good I said

Sweet I will be there said Kenny

Well remember this Saturday is my ballet said red

I told you I would be there didn't I

Yeah said red giving me a kiss on the cheek

"I blushed and the girls giggled"

You like that sugar said Bebe

It's pretty good I would like seconds I said

Not until you earn it said red

Well how about I do this then I said

"I kissed her cheek and red….turn even redder"

Ekkk yelled the girls

Uggh said Stan

Wow ok I liked that said red

I know you would my fair prince I said

"The girls then started to tear up…..man this is fun I love being a princess…..WAIT A MOMENT"

Ok I have to interject why did i have to wear a dress I asked

"The entire bus laughed including me and red"

QUIET BACK THERE yelled the crazy lady

SHUT UP YOU DUMB BITCH I yelled

WHAT DID YOU SAY yelled the crazy lady?

Uh I have a really bad itch I said

Oh well ok said the crazy lady

"Man she is weird"

END OF CHAPTER

End summery

Wow that was crazy me in a dress that sounds scary…..but surprisingly comfortable hmm anyway what will happen at the grilling will kenny die…..OR WILL HE LIVE FOR ONCE also red and me fan art NOW lol

A/N

So yeah i bet you are wondering about the days of the week well when it hits Sunday then 2 weeks will pass by and then we will start where the show first started that's when the fun will begin


End file.
